This installment of Rumbly Brainfarts has a song parody for you. This one may seem obtuse without a bit of explanation so I want to give you the backstory :
It made me smile, but the words “I shot the toaster” really echoed in my mind. Soon I was writing a song parody, and after about an hour's work it was formed. Now I present that song parody to you.
“I Shot the Toaster (But I Did Not Shoot the Cuisinart)” is to be sung, just in case you don't already feel it, to the tune of Bob Marley's classic "I Shot the Sherriff (But I Did Not Shoot the Deputy.)" I have included the original lyrics at the end if you wish to compare.
"I Shot The Toaster" - by Ray Blowers
I shot the toaster, but I did not shoot the cuisinart
I shot the toaster, but now I think that was not very smart, oh no.
With my scramble and home fries,
cold bread, I compromise.
See all these litle broken parts?
She thinks I killed our Cuisinart
See my wife loves the Cuisinart, but I say
I shot the toaster but I swear it de-serves to be dead, oh yeah!
I shot the toaster, 'cause it charred up a whole loaf of bread, ooh yeah!
Proctor-Silex always hated me,
For what, I don't know,
Every slice whether white or wheat
de bread burn up before you know
yeah, it burn up before you know, and so
I shot the toaster, Oh Lord! But I did not shoot the Cuisinart, oh ooh
I say, I shot the toaster, blew it to a thousand little parts
Bacon came my way Sunday
so I started me some hash browns
then that vicious four-slice bread machine
It just would not stop at brown
So I shot, I shot, I shot it down
and I say!
I shot the toaster!
Oh, yeah!
But I did not shoot the Cuisinart
no, no
I shot the toaster
I suppose that wasn’t very smart
Frustration got the better of me
and I did just what I felt
Every day the but-ter go to the bread
but now my but-ter will not melt
no, now the but-ter does not melt
I, I, I, I, shot the toaster! Lord, I didn't shoot the Cuisinart, no
I shot the toaster, but I didn't shoot no Cuisinart
************
Bob Marley wrote:
I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot no deputy, oh no!
I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot no deputy, ooh, ooh, ooh
All around in my home town,
They're tryin' to track me down,
They say they want to bring me in guilty
For the killing of a deputy,
For the life of a deputy, but I say
Oh, now, now, oh!
I shot the sheriff
But I swear it was in self defense
I shot the sheriff oh, Lord!
And they say it is a capital offense
Sheriff John Brown always hated me,
For what, I don't know,
Every time I plant a seed,
He said kill it before it grow,
He said kill them before they grow, and so
I shot the sheriff, Oh Lord! but I swear it was in self-defense
I say, I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self defense, yeah!
Freedom came my way one day
And I started out of town
All of a sudden I saw sheriff John Brown
Aiming to shoot me down,
So I shot, I shot, I shot him down
I shot the sheriff but I didn't shoot no deputy
I shot the sheriff, I did! But I didn't shoot no deputy
Reflexes had got the better of me
And what is to be must be,
Every day the bucket go to the well,
One day the bottom will drop out,
One day the bottom will drop out, I say
I, I, I, I, shot the sheriff.
Lord, I didn't shot the deputy, no
I, I shot the sheriff
But I didn't shoot no deputy, yeah
